They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
