1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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