did you get engaged???
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize