After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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