so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
