Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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