what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
