i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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