so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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