Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
