Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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