Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
