Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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