the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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