I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
