You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
