On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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