I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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