I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
