this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
And then he peed in my hair
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