having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize