can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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