dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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