11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dating After Heartbreak
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species