How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
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Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.