How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test