She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
