one might say we're banned from that church
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
