i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
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I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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