sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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