He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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