u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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