Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
