So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize