so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize