This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The struggles of a small town man whore
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
