Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
