what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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