i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize