all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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