I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize