I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
