A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize