if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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