Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
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my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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