if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
