"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
