WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
