Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize