member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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