Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize