Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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