I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
