just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
