if you like me you must not know who I am
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
