i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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