What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
