But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The air taste purple.
Randomize
