then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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