nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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