I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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