Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize