I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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